Dance and leadership.
I am often asked about what are the best ways to acquire and develop leadership skills and other so-called soft skills. Yet, every day it becomes clearer to me these skills are life skills. So, the answer I’d give is: you acquire them living. Different experiences you go through shape you and offer you life-lessons.
So the things we do with our time matter. Me? I enjoy dancing. I took classes for many years, and here are 5 things I have learnt about leadership while taking dance lessons with Eduardo García.
1. Looks impossible? Break the challenge out in pieces and enjoy the in-betweens.
It doesn’t matter how complex the choreography is, if you break it little by little virtually everybody can follow it. And when I say everybody, I mean it. Those who took lessons for a while, or those who are interested but never could. We all learn as we go, the way things are learnt: by doing. And the technicalities are tought along the way. After all, it is not what matters the most.
Understanding the steps, is part of the deal. You need to observe, follow and keep practising until you make it. And that moment when you are mirroring the other person is like you have this common language. It’s thrilling!
This teacher, does something more teachers and more leaders should do. A fabulous dancer himself, he doesn’t teach to show himself off or to have only the “best” students. He visibly enjoys every part of the process.. so as he is teaching every beat he is smiling, he corrects us with jokes and during the many repetitions that are needed to get it right we are always always dancing to music. This way we not only enjoy the result, but also while we are at it.
2. Clear goals to get extra energy and focus.
The end of the class comes when all of the parts we learn fit together in this “show” a.k.a the reward for all the hard work. The show consists of a choreography created by him for a specific song. In it all the parts fit together with the chosen song, even when it didn’t seem possible. It’s interesting seeing newcomers doubting this, or simply not getting what the excitement about the “show” is. But as time goes by, they learn to trust him and let themselves be amazed.
At this point, the soreness goes away and you get a new challenge: now it’s not just imitating steps you’d learnt. Now you need to make the steps your own, interpret the song, and enjoy it.
3. See yourself through other’s eyes. Appreciate your own.
Polishing the rough edges of what you thought you had mastered is hard. In the quest to improve, you might even have a hard time dealing with frustration when things don’t go that well. Observing others who do it well is key here to improve.. you learn a lot from those you admire.
But dancing well is much more than just imitating what other people do. The extra challenge comes in finding your own style and interpreting what you do.
This personal style will come from your limitations, it is true. But it will also be shaped by your strengths. And actually liking what you do, seeing yourself under a positive light where you can admire skills in you as you do in others requires lots of work on your humility and self acceptance and even self compassion. And finding that kindness, many times, is easier said than done.
4. To get you moving, it has to move you.
Along the week we go through different rythms. And this is a great exercise. Our bodies and minds have to be flexible to achieve this. Changing styles, changing steps reframes how you go about it. Actually you are constantly compromising and doing not just what you like, but what other people like. The funny thing is that with time, you learn to enjoy those other things through other people’s eyes.
Yet, though change is great, I must recognize that some classes get me way more than others. And no surprise, this is when one of these styles resonates stronger in me than others because they mean something to me.. it’s emotional. It’s physical. It’s irrational. It just does. It touches my heart.
5. Practise doesn’t make perfect. It makes us better.
Fact: the more I go to dance class, the better I feel.
Why this happens though is not that obvious. The more I go to dance class my body gets stronger and more flexible. True. And it is great. But it is much more than that. I do want to get better, to achieve more things, it’s true. I am motivated. It must be that extra dose of serotonine that got the “machine going” because now I am more motivated to add other healthy habits.
Come to think of it, though all these things are great, this is not what does the trick.
Actually, I think it boils down to this: As I dance, I get better, I enjoy more and I have fun.. and there are others who show me that they respond positively to that. Whether it is because they like the moves, or the smile it brings to my face, or the jokes while we are at it. There is something of dancing together in this class where I get the feeling they appreciate me for being me. They accept me. As simple as that.
What happens there is like this third culture where music and dancing is our thing. During that hour of class, we celebrate the music, we sing along, we try new moves, we enjoy it and we do this no matter our age, our backgrounds, what we do for a living, not even our bagage.
This is a safe space. And unsurprisingly spending time in a safe space is therapeutic and can even change your life. The more I go, the more I connect to others who see me and accept me for who I am. And that implies the more I go, the more comfortable I get in my own skin, as they do take me in, the more I learn to be kinder to myself. And guess what? The same happens the other way round! The more time I spend with them, the more I like each of them, and all of us as a group. So I will definitely try not to miss next class!
